Wing Dings and Tide Pods – Super Bowl Snacks

For these of you who haven’t but visited the brand new Meals Lion retailer in Wake Forest, which, primarily based on the hoard of consumers we needed to combat our approach via right now there cannot be many, I needed to offer you a fast rundown on a couple of of the issues you’ll be able to count on at this new fashionable location.

One of many first issues I discovered distinctive was how all of the sidewalks funnel you right down to the perimeters of the constructing, you already know, so you’ll be able to enter the vestibule via the doorways which are perpendicular to the entrance of the constructing (for these of you from Iron-Duff that is a flowery approach of claiming that there is a porch that stands proud from the entrance of the home and as a substitute of getting steps that go proper up the center the steps is over on all sides). Unusual factor was, after we received to the aspect of the vestibule, there will not no doorways there. So what it’s important to do subsequent is, step again out into the street, keep away from getting hit, after which stroll again to the entrance of the vestibule the place the doorways are (porch for these of you from Iron-Duff). I need to say, having an awning over that entrance space (lined porch for these of you from Iron-Duff) would have been actually helpful throughout right now’s monsoon.

Now when you’re considering that every one this work simply to get inside won’t be price it, concern not, as soon as inside you can find all of the groceries you got here for, to not point out the chance to walk via the walk-in produce cooler. This room is correctly humidified and adequately cooled as a way to preserve the freshest greens on the town. Upon exiting the produce cave you can find your self wandering via their new cutting-edge Deli. Of us, they have subs, pizzas, pastas, sandwiches, sushi, and even entire fried chickens. You may think about my pleasure viewing the entire delis choices, particularly after having to spend all that point within the produce cave. Produce cooler, are you kidding me? Hey Meals Lion, how bout the subsequent time ya’ll get collectively to design a retailer and a few younger hipster walks within the room and says you want a produce cooler over there the place the beer cave was, ya’ll perform a little grownup’n and put him again on evening shift stocking cabinets. Belief me, a couple of months of evening shift coupled with the disruption of his delicate circadian rhythm and he’ll overlook all about his natural vegan methods, however I digress.

So again to the deli, the place right now is Tremendous Bowl Sunday and I am about to purchase myself a pair dozen Wing Dings. I am considering possibly I will get a dozen common Wing Dings and a Dozen Spicy Wing Dings, proper? So I am wanting all up and down the new shelf and I do not see any, so I requested this good younger fellow from the deli part the place I would discover the Wing Dings. I assumed he labored within the deli as a result of he was sporting a blue, contemporary out of the bag, Meals Lion polo with a shiny new badge. The badge even had his identify on it, or no less than I feel it was his identify, it is onerous to inform after they use them old-school Dymo labelers. I say all of this to assist clarify what occurred subsequent, as a result of what I heard was a press release that I assumed was merely coming from the mouth of some new child, one who would not perceive the retail enterprise but, or possibly he simply is not on top of things on all issues Meals Lion but, trigger what he says was, “we do not make Wing Dings anymore”!! At that very second I gave that younger man my full consideration, appeared him proper within the eyes, and demanded that he make clear his assertion! Earlier than the poor child may even get out three good b’s of a “b-b-b-but” stutter, one other fellow determined he may must intervene. Additionally sporting considered one of them new blue polo shirts with accompanying Dymo embossed identify tag, though his denoted him because the “Deli Supervisor”, he proceeded to verify the younger lads beforehand acknowledged intestine wrenching information by saying, “yep, that is proper, we ain’t gonna make these Wing Dings anymore. We received this model new scorching bar over right here the place you may get em any approach you need em”, as he factors towards a rolling buffet that is simply the proper top to permit youngsters to play. After a fast look across the bar, I spotted that what he meant by “any approach you need em” is which you could have em any approach you need em so long as the way in which you need em is overheated to the purpose that the meat’s drawn up on the bone after which dip em in a sticky candy BBQ or Orange Sauce. Of us, that ain’t the way in which I would like em!

In case you’re questioning what I did subsequent, I will inform you. I did the one factor a self-respecting man can do, I grabbed a type of to-go containers and proceeded to pick a dozen of these overheated drawn up on the bone diabeetus sauce lined faux rooster wings. I did not do that as a result of I needed to thoughts you, however fairly as a result of Beth had snatched me by the arm and informed me to cease my whining, depart the poor deli child alone, do or do not get a few of them dang rooster wings both approach she do not care, and are available on so we are able to end procuring. With my wings within the buggy, I completed my pouting whereas pushing our cart via the land of misplaced guarantees, all of the whereas taking care to not stumble upon the little previous girls blocking the aisles whereas they waited to listen to from the shop supervisor as as to if or not the grand opening sale value for tuna fish would nonetheless be honored subsequent week.

Now for these of you who’re involved about me and fear as to how I may probably survive with out Wing Dings, please relaxation straightforward, for I’ll ultimately discover a fuel station deli that fixes their wings simply the way in which I like em. I want to ask nonetheless, that if in case you have a spare second, you may need to say a prayer for the poor cashier that checked us out, I am certain she’d respect it. Seems that I wasn’t the one one which was disillusioned in our procuring expertise and questioning what the world was coming to. By the point we received house, another person had gotten in her fair proportion of whining too. Now whereas Beth might not share my affinity for Wing Dings, she did appear to have a couple of pet peeves when it got here to bagging her groceries, together with a couple of alternative phrases for the poor cashier that did the baggin. She appeared genuinely stunned that the cashier had positioned our toothpaste in the identical bag with all our cleansing provides, which included a bottle of liquid bleach. I assume it takes much more than bagging bleach and toothpaste collectively to shock me these days, particularly when the bagger is from the identical technology that is consuming Tide Pods. I can see the brand new advert marketing campaign now;

“Are you searching for a mouthwash that delivers Whiter Enamel and a Brighter Smile, give Clorox a strive. (Additionally kills germs identified to trigger dangerous breath)”.

Beth additionally took situation with the truth that the cashier bagged our uncooked sausage and contemporary blended greens collectively. It is doing loopy issues like this that may typically result in lethal cross contamination. Now do not get me improper, I am not saying that the younger girl did not present us with any meals security precautions, I imply, no less than she did have the decency to put the 2 gadgets in considered one of them there “blue luggage” in order we’d know that what was inside would must be refrigerated as soon as we received house. Let’s face it, sooner or later the patron has to simply accept some modicum (restricted quantity for these of you from Iron-Duff) of duty for their very own meals security. We have all heard these tales about households getting sick from their very own cooking, and the way it may’ve simply been prevented had they’ve merely adopted some sound sanitation and hygiene practices when working within the kitchen. Lets take my sausage and blended greens situation for instance. By me merely choosing the right utensils, this younger cashiers bagging fake pas poses no well being danger to me or my household in anyway. I merely begin my preparation by grabbing a forged iron skillet out from beneath the range. Subsequent, I flip one of many large range eyes to medium-high (6-7). To forestall any sticking, I like to recommend that you just permit the skillet to heat for 2-3 minutes, simply lengthy sufficient so to really feel the warmth developing from the skillet if you wave your hand over it however not so lengthy that it will burn your fingers if you contact it. As soon as correctly pre-heated, throw that sausage within the pan and prepare dinner it till its browned on each side but nonetheless greasy within the center. The browning of the skin of the sausage is a very powerful step, because it ensures that the pan was scorching sufficient to burn off any germs that the sausage might need picked up from touching them nasty greens.

When you’ve got an opportunity to go go to the brand new Meals Lion, I like to recommend you wait a couple of days. If all goes properly it’ll cease raining, they are going to add some awnings, and if my name to motion goes properly, they’re going to have Wing Dings again on the shelf earlier than March Insanity begins.